As we prepare to depart from Nairobi in a few days—and to return to Africa for five months in Accra, Ghana, beginning in early August—we are recording some of what we have learned, for the benefit of other visitors to this fascinating continent. Follow these guidelines and you will enhance your experience in many ways.
Rule 1: In any bureaucracy with which you have dealings (a university, a government office, a travel agency, a hotel or lodge), assume that nothing will happen as it is supposed to, or when it is supposed to. On those occasions when things do go according to plan, you will then be happily surprised.
Rule 1A: If your lodging has electricity and a connection to the mains water supply, do not assume that there will be electricity and running water at all times. Instead, be grateful when they are available.
Rule 2: If you are scheduled to meet with someone at 11 am, be sure to be ready by 2 pm.
Rule 2A: If you are scheduled to meet with someone at 11 am in order to give him or her money, be sure to be ready by 6:30 am on the previous day.
Explanation: for reasons that scientists have not yet been able to fathom, watches and clocks do not work reliably near the equator. They give the illusion that there are 24 equal hours in the day, but in fact some hours are shorter, others longer, following a corollary of general relativity theory: time intervals depend on whether you meet a relative or friend and on whether he or she has urgent matters to discuss. The best policy is to regard clocks and watches as wall decorations and jewelry but not to look at them very closely.
Rule 3: Maintain all the anticipatory and defensive habits that you have acquired in north Philadelpia / central Chicago / Los Angeles / Miami / Washington when walking and using public transit in urban areas; but discard all the anticipatory and defensive habits you have learned to apply to purportedly friendly strangers in US cities. They really are interested in talking to you, and their warmth and generosity is genuine, not pretended. You will not regret the time you spend in conversation, and you will learn as much from strangers you encounter on the streets as from any number of books you read about contemporary African society.
Rule 3A: But they will probably still ask you for money.
Rule 3B: Both rule 3 and rule 3A apply to police officers. Mostly 3A.
Rule 4: Prices quoted by vendors in tourist markets are a starting point for conversation. Contrary to appearances, they are usually not intended to be humorous. Guidelines offered confidently by drivers and guidebooks (e.g., to offer 10% or 25% or 50% of the initial price) are best ignored, because the initial price is a function with two variables: (a) the value of the object and (b) the estimated gullibility and perceived wealth of the inquirer. Proceed with this in mind, and you may eventually be able to diminish, but not eliminate, the effect of the second variable.
Rule 4A: Prices on menus in upmarket hotels are not intended to provoke laughter either, though that is their principal effect on long-term residents. Unfortunately the second variable mentioned above is predominant in this instance, and a counter offer (“380 shillings for a cup of tea? I will give you 50”) will not be received courteously. (This is the actual price, in May 2010, of a cup of tea at the Inter-Continental Hotel in Nairobi--more than $5 US.)
Rule 5: Traffic signals and markings are advisory, not obligatory.
Rule 6: Schedule two Sundays in each week, because there are so many churches to visit and each is uplifting and inspiring in its own way.
Rule 7: Arrange to stay as long as you can; and then stay twice as long. Many of your most valuable contacts will emerge in the last few weeks of your stay, and many of your most informative conversations will be cut off because you need to catch your plane home.
(Drafted on 7 April by David Hoekema, for reasons we won’t go into, and revised on 26 May; rule 2 was suggested by Mark Fackler.)
